The Bachelor 29 Finale Recap for 3/24/2025

 

On the last episode of The Bachelor, Grant Ellis took Zoe, Juliana and Litia to the Fantasy Suites. Litia said sex was off the table, while Zoe wondered if they could be something more after their one and only one-on-one date. Juliana was worried about where things were going, only to get a rose at the end of the night. Litia was also given a rose, but Zoe was sent home.

Confused? You won’t be at the end of The Bachelor season finale.

 

We open with Jesse Palmer channeling Phil Donahue (may he RIP), reminding us that this shitshow is three hours long. He also reminds us that Grant will be making the most important decision on his life and he was the most torn Bachelor of all time. This will end up being the most dramatic night of all time….or so they say.

 

DATE 1: MEET THE PARENTS

Litia meets Grant’s family first and they talk about their time together and how much they care for and love each other. They then each take time having heart to hearts with various family members about their feelings and seriously, this whole thing could have been an email.

The family also gives commentary as the live studio audience watches.

Litia wants kids within the next two years if being married and Grant wants more fun? Is that what he is saying? Shouldn’t they have discussed this, I don’t know, several weeks ago? ::headdesk::

 

Date 2: MEET THE PARENTS

Juliana meets Grant’s parents next. It is more or less the same thing as we saw with Litia, but Juliana seems more unsure about the whole situation. She actually seems to really bond with his dad, who talks about his experiences with addiction and not being the best husband and father. He thinks Grant will be better in those departments than he could have ever been and then tells Grant he believes he will make the right choice and deserves to be happy.

 

TL;DR

Grant loves both women….which is what happens every single season.

 

Jesse Channels Phil Donahue

Charity, Clayton and Gerry are all back to explain how they handled choosing between the final two and not for nothing, why? Charity, I get, because she is actually with her final choice, but Gerry and Clayton are no longer with their choices. I’d understand having Joey and Zach since they are still with their final choices and would actually make sense.

Clayton is in the hot seat after Jesse reminds him that he told his final three he loved them. He says that he fell in love with each of their beauty and characteristics.

Gerry more or less echoes his sentiments and says Grant needs to know how and why this happened.

Charity tells Grant to trust his gut. As an aside, I LOVE her dress.

How does he choose? Gerry says you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and that has nothing to do with this….he is choosing a wife, not going for a job.

Joan is with Chock, her final one and the only one who she told she loved.

There are also a million and one new shows coming out, including the new season of Vanderpump Villa and the return of Stassi Schroeder. The show looks like it is….something. I have no words for whatever that is I just saw.

How is there still two hours left? Jesus take the wheel.

 

Final Date: Juliana

They go on a boat and make out and drink champagne.

He wants to make sure she is ready for an engagement and, um, a little late for that now, Sparky! She promises to handle his heart with care because she is apparently UPS or the United Postal Service or something.

They find common ground and I have no idea what to do with any of this information. At all.

They kiss and say goodnight.

And, that, my friends, could have been a freaking email.

 

Final Date: Litia

They go horseback riding, talk and make out. He says the best thing about this journey is getting to know her and having their relationship grow.

They talk about the future, hopes and dreams and again, all of this should have been discussed weeks ago. None of this makes any sort of sense.

She loves him and feels sad when he’s sad, feels glad when he’s glad and basically sounds like she is channeling Barry Manilow.

Now she can’t live without him and we are now getting into LeeAnn Rimes’s Greatest Hits.

Grant leaves and is more confused than ever.

 

Jesse Channels Phil Donahue Again:

Will Grant choose himself? What is the point of any of this? Is he going to pull a Brad Womack 1.0?

 

The Final Choice:

Alexa, Play Hardest Thing by 98 Degrees as Grant comes to a decision.

Grant has no clue what to do, so he talks to his dad about the pros and cons of each woman. Or something.

 

Juliana and Litia get ready for the big moment that can either be the happiest or saddest moment of their life.

Grant chooses a ring from Neil Lane and nothing like waiting until the last minute there, Sparky!

He then looks back on his journey as he chooses the ring.

 

Sophie’s Grant’s Choice

Jesse tells him to make a damn decision already and sends Litia to see him.

They kiss and she tells him how she was falling for him since week two. She tells him she sees a future with him and cannot wait to start their lives together.

Grant says he was looking for an emotional connection and thinks she is beautiful and amazing…..but he is ending things, even though he loves her very much and wants to give her everything she deserves. He is not her person and tries to apologize….

BUT…..LITIA LIGHTS INTO HIS ASS LIKE A FREAKING BOSS! GIRLFRIEND GIVES HIM WHAT FOR AND I AM FREAKING HERE FOR IT. YOU GO, GIRL!

He keeps trying to talk to her and explain things, but she wonders how Juliana will feel once she sees what he said to her on their dates.

Damn, girl! She is reading him for filth and he doesn’t seem to understand.

He says he still as love for her but had to make a decision….please, Grant. shut your mouth already.

 

Phil Donahue Jesse Returns

He says Litia is there to talk about the journey. She shares her feelings and how none of it makes sense, especially because of how he acted on dates and things he said to her mom on FaceTime. She also says Grant continued to raise the stakes even when she told him to not lead her on and make promises he could not keep.

Jesse is sympathetic and understanding. Her parents are also there for moral support.

Also, as an aside, she was heartbroken and got food poisoning at the same time? Poor girl!

Jesse tells her Grant is there and they will talk.

Grant comes on stage and she once again reads him for filth and calls him out on his BS and all of the things he said that turned out to be lies. She wants to know why he said he couldn’t wait to get engaged and that he thought of her as a wife. He says she taught him a lot about being a man and he did love her. He is sorry for hurting her and had to make a decision that was best for him…and it came down to the wire…..and dude…..just STOP already.

Jesse asks Grant if he regrets saying he loved Litia and he says no. He regrets the mistakes he made and thinks that Litia has a lot to offer.

Litia is not buying ANY of it and will not have any of it…..you tell him, girlfriend! She keeps reading him for filth until Jesse ends the segment because time is up or he is sick of it or something.

 

The Final Rose

He sees Juliana as a woman of strong character, compassionate, loving, caring and wants to spent the rest of his life with her….even though apparently he loved Litia five seconds before he dumped her.

Juliana wants to be chosen because she is a Pokemon, I suppose. She gives him a speech that is giving fifth grade talent show monologue saying how much she loves him…and he says they always had a connection and gives his own stupid monologue.

Grant then proposes and she accepts. She also gets his final rose as the audience watches the video and cheers….even though they all saw him treat Litia like crap not ten minutes ago.

They will help each other through all the things and seal the deal with cheers and a kiss.

 

Update

The happy couple talks to Jesse and are still together. They talk about their life together and the journey and how do we still have a half hour left of this crap?

Jesse then shares memes of his face during the WTA. Juliana talks about having friends and family offer support.

We then hear from Grant’s family and how he is happy to have their support.

Grant is moving to Boston to be with Juliana.

Jesse is sending them to Italy.

 

Zoe Returns

Zoe is in the house to talk about her own journey, because, really, why not at this point? Why not invite the Osmonds, George Bush, the guy from the Gieko commercials and Steve from Blues Clues at this point because we are only wasting time.

Anyway, she has a lot to offer, and it is a long-winded way to say she is on Bachelor in Paradise.

 

BIP Twist

The Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants will be on the show with the young alum. Leslie and Gary are the first to be cast.

 

That is the end of this season of The Bachelor. Tune in  for BIP this fall!