The Bachelorette Recap for 7/8/2024
-The opening shows Jenn Tran telling someone that she cannot let him propose to her….and then going to her hotel room….we are really getting the drama early….or at least one heck of a teaser for the finale!
-Jenn seems like she is going to be a fun Bachelorette….she reminds me of Ashley Hebert.
-I had forgotten about her relationship with her father……that makes me so sad. She seems so nice, and I hope she doesn’t get hurt during this process.
-I am thrilled she is making history by being the first Asian-American Bachelorette. Seeing her with her fans makes me so happy.
-I just noticed she uses Maybelline makeup. It is awesome to see her use the same kind of makeup I use.
-They are at the Hummingbird Nest Ranch this season…or at least tonight.
-Wow, we are getting into the limo entrances early tonight.
Limo entrances:
–Marcus wants to serve is country, go to outer space, serve his country and meet his person. He is an Army Ranger who almost lost his life during his last deployment. Thank you for your service.
–Marvin is an event planner who speaks French.
–Sam N is an entrepreneur who is a virgin….a love virgin who has never been in love. He is also a family man. His ‘job’ is Love Virgin and I have no idea what to do with this information.
-Maybelline is sponsoring this season, apparently. Charity and Trista did a commercial for the Fit Me line, which is the one I wear all the time. Can I be a Bachelorette too?
–Grant can beatbox and sing. He is also a basketball player from New Jersey and played professionally overseas before he got injured. These days, he works in finance and hopes to find love with Jenn.
-Sam M is from the South and builds home for a living. His goal is to find love. He was engaged, but got cheated on and now is ready to get back in the game.
–Thomas N gives her a bracelet for her to wear before he puts a ring on it. He is a retirement advisor with a passion for swimming. He was Olympic bound before an injury ended his dream.
–Brendan shares hot peppers with her but ends up choking and getting his heart racing.
–Dakota pops bottles for her.
–Kevin brings her skis.
–Spencer gives her pocket squares.
–Brian gives her shots….in big syringes?
–Matt gives her ginger shots.
–Austin has a fire extinguisher to let her know she is looking so fire.
–Ricky makes some awkward comment about her being naked or in her scrubs.
–Tomas A brings her puppies because he is like a puppy, loyal, cute and cuddly. I think she liked the pups more than him.
–Jonathon comes in a stretcher because he is lovesick. He is also wearing a face wrap so he can get to know who he is on the inside….and he is cheeky….as in he is naked under his hospital gown.
–Aaron is an aerospace engineer who shows up on a motorcycle. His brother Noah was on a few seasons ago and ended up meeting and getting engaged to Abigail on BIP. He is also divorced and hopes to get a second chance at love.
–Jeremy shows up in a Corvette and has a really big….BLEEP. We are all grown ups, we can use the word penis.
–Dylan is a medical student who comes with a stethoscope. He went into medicine because his grandmother had breast cancer and it got him interested in helping people.
–John is also a medical student who gives her a stepstool because he wants to hold her on a pedestal.
–Brett thinks that this is the dream.
–Moze is happy to be there.
–Jahaan brings her the chess Queen.
–Devin is from Houston, Texas and reminds me of Vinny from Jersey Shore.
–Hakeem shows up with balloons, which represents him floating on cloud nine. The balloons pop as he tries to get into the mansion.
-The snark these men give is better than the intros. It is more like a reality show to find the real-life versions of the old men on the Muppets than the Bachelorette. As an aside, can we do a joke episode with Waldorf and Statler hosting/giving commentary? They could also do BIP! Can you imagine how hilarious that would be?
-Time to mingle. So far, Thomas N is my favorite, they seem to have the most in common and similar backgrounds.
-Jonathon is still in the face tape and naked, save for his hospital gown.
-Truth or Dare….people still play this? Austin went streaking…..and the rest was just weird, random crap.
-Sam N talks about how he is working on himself so he has never been in love.
-Jonathon’s title is Man Behind the Mask. I miss these random descriptions. I am glad they are back.
-Jonathon takes off his mask and is very hot….his title is now creative director. He is still in his hospital gown for some reason. Jenn thinks it is some first impression.
-Jesse Palmer comes in and brings the First Impression Rose…so it is GAME ON!
-More mingling….talking…..dancing….and math? Seriously, one dude does math to X out her exes….and then there is more math. He should have just done U! PLUS SIGN! ME! EQUAL SIGN! US!
-Brian takes the keys to Jeremy’s car, which causes tension between the men.
-Jeremy is telling the guys about Brian……who is still in the car with Jenn. I can guess who the villain is this season.
-The guys sing about the car situation because…what else is there to do when she tries to get to know everyone?
-This foot biting talk is creeping me out.
-Devin wanting to go to the salon with her is low key cute.
-Sam M thinks there won’t be kissing tonight.
-Grant and Jenn play basketball and he wants a kiss as a prize.
-Did you all know Grant is tall and hot.
-There is no kiss because Thomas N interrupts.
-More mingling.
-Did I miss the first kiss? I don’t remember seeing it at all.
-Sam M gets the first impression rose and a hella make out session……like, WHOA!
Rose Ceremony:
-Dylan–future doctor
-Thomas N–the one with the bracelet
-Spencer–Pet portrait dude
-Grant–basketball dude
Marcus–First limo entrance
-Tomas A–the one with the puppies
-John M–No idea
-Jeremy–Corvette dude
-Devin–Jersey Shore
-Brian–Stole the car
-Aaron–Noah’s brother
-Jahaan–No idea, but he is hot
-Hakeem–balloon dude
Jonathon–Mask dude who is still naked underneath his gown—sheesh, get the dude some draws!
-Austin–Who?
-Marvin–Dude who speaks French
-Final Rose Tonight-Jesse comes back just to reminds us there is one left….we need The Count to host and do Rose Ceremonies
-Sam N–Love virgin
Eliminated:
-Brett–PA dude who seemed so sweet
-Moze–No idea
-Kevin–Dude with skis
-Matt–No idea
-Ricky–Dude who talked about naked scrubs….or something
-Brendan–Hot pepper dude
-Dakota: Bottle popper
