Vanderpump Rules Secrets Revealed Snark and Highlights for 6/14/2023

-Both Katie and Schwartz and Ariana and Sandoval lived together post break-up. I did not know that.

-Schwartz saying that Stassi thinks that he and Katie are divorce goals is…..interesting.

-Katie and Schwartz going their separate ways is bittersweet. They are better off apart, but they did have some sweet moments.

-Seeing these moments with Ariana, Sandoval and her brother sharing memories in the apartment is so unexpectedly sad.

-Why would Peter want Raquel to break up with him again? And why would he discuss it with James of all people?

-It makes me so sad to see Peter get his heartbroken…and Raquel laughing while breaking up with him for the second time makes it even worse.

-Peter saying Raquel would never break his heart is priceless.

-Scheana and Katie’s drama is so old….as is the fact that Schwartz and Raquel made out. I get Katie being mad that Schwartz broke the deal they had not to date within the friend group, but still….they were both single at the time. It was shitty, but still.

-We are now in the Samantha Jones level of sex talk with this group.

-Wait, there was footage of Sandoval and Raquel meeting before she and Charli went to his house and he said he didn’t see her in so long?

Seeing Raquel talk about Oliver (and being slut shamed by Lala) with Ariana, Sandoval and Charli is even more heartbreaking knowing that she was with him the entire time.

-‘I would have his balls crystalized and wear them as earrings!’ Sometimes Lisa’s one liners can rival those of Sophia Petrillo.

-This roller-skating date is making me so sad. Ariana is so happy and Sandoval is with Raquel behind her back.

-Schwartz and this new girl Kendall seem sort of sweet together. I wonder whatever happened to her.

-I also really like Kendall’s outfit on the date.

-It seems like everyone suspected Scandoval was in the making, but had nothing to prove it, so Ariana was none the wiser.

-Raquel’s confessional is giving me serious 1998 vibes where a certain President denied a certain relationship. (Not shaming said President or intern, just saying it reminds me of the speech he gave.)

-I never realized just how close Lisa and Ariana were….I hope she was there for her during this whole situation.

-I completely forgot that Lisa broke her leg in the riding accident.

-James calling Sandoval and Raquel out on their fake apologies is probably the most realistic thing the show has ever aired.

-Graham knew more tricks than Schwartz nearly took me out….

-Lala telling the waiter she will burn the place if there is tequila in her drink was….a choice. She could have just said that she was sober and wanted a mocktail version….while using please and thank you.

-Ally, Katie and Lala talking about the betrayal Ariana and Scheana faced is so upsetting, as is how James felt when he and Raquel broke up.

-THAT was the big OMG Secrets Revealed? I learned nothing from that and wasted an hour I could have been doing something useful with my life.

-That’s a wrap for this season, kiddies!