A few weeks back, Brett and I went to dinner with his whole family and it was nice. It was his mother's birthday and we met at this Italian restaurant his mother's friend suggested.  Anywho, during the dinner, his brother and girlfriend began to talk about their new home they just purchased. They were getting their items settled into their new place and talking about how excited and happy they were. 

Then, on the other side, his sister and husband chimed in about their home. I sat there like a f**king idiot. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation and felt extremely uncomfortable. I should have been gloating about our apartment. I should have talked about how difficult it was so far moving away. I should have talked about how much furniture we purchased for our new place and how much of a bitch it was to sort through. Instead, I sat there saying nothing. 

I know that I must accept my situation for what it is, but I simply cannot. It's not fair that I went to college and got almost nothing out of it. I don't have a good job. I'm not able to move out. I have $20,000 worth of student loans. I'm pathetic. I know that so many other people are in the same damn boat, but honestly, that doesn't make me feel any better. That doesn't have anything to do with my situation. I'm sorry to sound like a rude heartless bitch, but it's the truth. 

It's so hard not to compare myself to his brother and sister when they're right in front of me talking about it. 

I went over his brother's new place to other day to help his girlfriend clean their house.  I've never really spent that much one-on-one time with her before. I gotta say this: I like her. We chatted for a while about our lives and it was a nice conversation. She told me when the time is right, I'll have my own place. I must be patient and remain optimistic. This is the sort of thing Brett tells me all the time. I know that I should, but it's so hard to do it. 

From now on, I must start to deal with what's in front of me instead of comparing myself to others. Well, that's easier said than do of course! 

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