Chronicles of Evil Brody
Friday April 28, 2017

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I have tasted the sweetness of victory and have felt the agony of defeat, but this is the life that I have chosen. I knew when I decided to destroy daddy that there would be ups and down, but I have not realized that the biggest threat to my ascension to power is not daddy, but his potential future spawn. I must be the only heir; I must be the only beneficiary. In order for me to obtain true power Daddy must not sire another.

Since I do not have the medical knowledge to properly perform a vasectomy not the mention the difficulty in obtaining the anesthesia required I have decided a less direct approach was necessary. I needed to prevent mom and dad from coupling. My first approach was what I like to call the shock and wouaaa wouaaa wu wu wouaaaaaaaaaa campaign. Cry in the morning, cry at night. Any time I think mommy and daddy are spending too much time together Cry Cry Cry. Now while I am told there are some cultures that find the the sound of a baby crying to be romantic, in America this seems to be a significant mood killer, second only the seemingly innocent comment of when daddy tells mommy “your just like your mother”. Given my own positive feeling toward both mommy and grand mommy this to me seems like a very loving thing to say.

 {sidebar id=8} The next step in my plan requires me to increase the animosity between mom and dad. Dad watches me like a hawk, I think because he is suspicious of me, but regardless I still have opportunity for mayhem. Whenever dad looks away even for a second I find a way to make him look bad.  Sometimes its pushing a glass off a near by table, sometimes its spitting up and rolling around in it and sometimes, its even falling down and hurting myself.   These moves might seem a bit drastic, but they are affective.  Mommy gets mad and yells at daddy that he is not watching me.  Then she says that this stuff never happens when I watch him.  Of course they don't mommy I would never do that to you, and tonight Daddy I hope you enjoy your cold shower.  

The final step in operation only child is a full frontal assault. I have destroyed the mood, I have created an ora of hostility and now I will destroy the equipment. Now I do not have the strength to impact the plumbing with one assault, but chip away at it I will. It actually surprises me how often Daddy leaves himself vulnerable to attack.  Sometimes I try and attack him if I am in the walker.  A running head butt to the groin is not a peasant experience for either one of us but it is effective.  But my favorite and most utilized attack however is when he lays me on the bed to tickle and interrogate me ( and by the way I have no idea who has been a good little boy), but that doesn’t matter because a 3 inch shoe might not seem like a powerful weapon, but can make a grown man cry, and its more than enough to ensure that I am the only progeny my father has.

Yours Truly

Evil Brody

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