Chronicles of Evil Brody
Friday April 28, 2017

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Chronicles of Evil Brody 
I Will Never Love Again 

I have experienced many painful things in my life.  Some pervert doctor spanked me the minute I was born.  I have been vaccinated, which I believe is the Greek word for stuck with many needles for no good reason. And I have fallen down and gone boom. But nothing could have prepared me for the pain of losing her.  Michelle and I were soul mates and our love was greater than any love - real or imagined.  Cleopatra and Marc Anthony, Romeo and Juliet, Bert and Ernie - they had nothing on us.  Our love was eternal and now that I have lost her I know that I will never love again.

Things were going so well with us that I was already planning to propose.  The times we spent together were magical.  She would help me with my neck exercises and I knew if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her I would need to make an honest woman out of her.   Without me saying a word Mommy understood my intentions.  Even though I got the impression she thought I was too young to make this kind of commitment, she respected me enough not to try and talk me out of it.  In fact she even took me to Dylan's Candy Store and Jewelry Shop, where I was able to find a perfect princess cut 12-carat ring pop.  The blue color of the diamond matched my loves eyes perfectly.  But just as I was about to ask her to marry me, Daddy came along to ruin everything.  He moved me, Mommy and Polly from New York City to some far off land called Westchester.

 {sidebar id=8}This Westchester was very strange to me.  It had people living in giant cribs called houses.  And there were these stupid things called trees that littered the place.  But the worst part was that my lady love was gone.  I tried to tell Mommy that she had to get us back to NYC so I could be with Michelle.  I explained to her that I got used to sleeping on one side of the crib so that when Michelle finally moved in with us I would not disturb her sleep.   Daddy must have gotten to her somehow because she just ignored me.  Any time someone asked why we had moved my mother just said something like, “You can't raise kids in that city” or “Westchester schools are great.”  I bet that sounded better than the truth.  “My husband wanted to hurt my son. He decided the best way to accomplish this was to rip his heart out of his chest by taking away his one true love.”  Yeah mom I would stick to the school story as well.  

I have given up hope of ever being reunited with Michelle.  This is a scar that will never heal, much like when my first tooth came in.  This will change me forever. And to top it all off I am stuck living in Westchester.  I have a lot of work to do.  I have to get used to my new surroundings.  I have to figure out what happens if I stick a key into that thing called a socket. And I have to destroy Daddy.  I will be triumphant in our little war, but in some ways it will only be a pyrrhic victory, because no matter what happens in the future, I will never love again.  

Yours truly,

Evil Brody

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