Chronicles of Evil Brody
Friday April 28, 2017

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Chronicles of Evil BrodyChronicles of Evil Brody 
They Will Do My Bidding?

An amazing opportunity has presented itself to me.  At first I was scared about the implications; and any change this significant in life is a scary thing. I felt like I was going to be torn away from a community I had grown to love. We had all learned to count on each other, rely on each other and a surprising bond had been formed between each and every one of us.

I still think back fondly on how Justin just sat there not saying anything, or how Marie just sat there staring at the lights.  Some people thought this was because they hadn’t developed basic communication skills yet, but the truth was they knew something at 13 months that most people don’t ever learn.  It is better to sit quietly and say nothing than to speak often and have nothing important to say.   I will miss those guys.I have been transferred from my small in-home family day care to the high security mega day prison.  At first I was scared about what would happen to me here, but I quickly learned I have the opportunity to take a small group of children and mold their minds to do my bidding.

 {sidebar id=8}The Happy Day Learning Center. It’s a nice sounding name.  Makes you think of a wonderful place where your children will enjoy their day, meet new friends, learn and grow.  That name doesn’t quite describe it.  I would have called it The Soul Crushing Abyss from which there is no hope, but I guess different strokes for different folks.  Daddy transferred me there because he knew I was happy at my day care and he couldn’t allow that.  My routine is now pretty standard.  We are granted entry passed the security doors where mommy checks me in.  What am I a jacket at a restaurant?  Then she brings me to my cell block called Toddler Room A, and leaves me with a woman only known to me as Ms. May.  This is where we are to spend our day.  Eating what they tell us.  Sleeping when and where they tell us.  Now I don’t want to go into every detail of how Ms. May mistreats me because this is not the point of this entry, but I will tell it is not uncommon for Ms. May to limit me to only one hour of kitchen set play time a day.  Well Ms. May, maybe my roast chicken takes longer than an hour to cook.  Did you ever think of that?  If the other kids get salmonella poisoning because of this, it will not be on me. It will be ALL ON YOU.  It took me a little while but I realized I now have the access to what I have wanted all along … An Army!

In ancient times Spartan children at the age of seven were taken away from their families and trained to be warriors.  From the time they were old enough to hold a spear they were taught how to be men. They were taught how to fight and die.  And I don’t know if you noticed there are not a lot of Spartans running around lately.  Well maybe had they started training at 12 months like my soldiers are, they might have fared a little better.  We have soldiers training for every type of warfare imaginable.  We have the Crawler room where we have dedicated soldiers who are working on their army crawl.  This will come in handy when we need to get passed barbed wire and place keys into sockets.   Division Terrible Two’s are honing their adult manipulation skills.  We are more than a little optimistic that a well-timed temper tantrum or two might get us those tanks we have always wanted.  And most importantly we have our weapons division.  This unit is derived entirely of soldiers who have vegetarian parents who feed them lots of refried beans. They are hard at work producing a large stockpile of gas & biological weapons.  Be wary foe, for when my army is near you will know death is coming to meet you when you hear our war cry in the distance.  “WHAT SOUND DOES THE COWMAKE?……MMMMMOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

Yours Truly,

Evil Brody

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