BACHELOR IN PARADISE
RECAP FOR AUGUST 29, 2016
Hello and welcome to Bachelor In Paradise on ABC. Tonight, we get the Nick and Josh showdown, Lace and Grant hit the rocks and Ashley I. will cry. Let’s get started.
I think Nick is adorable now. Who the hell is Carl? Why the hell is this Brett dude showering with the lamp? I still have no clue who Ryan is either. Why is Jorge not the new Bachelor? I want answers, people!
We open with Caila telling Ashley that Jared thinks of her as a sister. Oh snap! Ashley is PISSED. She thinks Caila is a backstabbing whore.
Ashley and Jared have a long talk and….I can’t snark on this. She is annoying with her Jared obsession, but in a way I know how she feels. I know exactly what it is like to love someone so deeply and have them act like they share those feelings, only to find out it was a lie.
She then prays to the spirit of her dog to send her a distraction. Enter Wells. I can’t believe that I wrote this and I haven’t even began drinking yet.
Wells has a date card and everyone convinces him to take Ashley out. Their date is actually really cute and they seem to hit it off really well. They eat, talk to animals, kiss and make a wish. She thinks she has more chemistry with him than she does with Jared.
Lace is flirting with the other guys, which upsets Grant. They get into a fight and the girls comfort her and offer advice.
There is some stupid bit with Amanda going to sleep and where Josh is going to sleep. Or something. We then get to him either dreaming, moaning or having a self orgasm over pizza. Again, I can’t believe I wrote that. I still don’t know what the hell I am watching.
Lace and Grant make up. In case you were all going to lose sleep over this tonight.
Evan and Carly are, like, totally falling in love. She wants to know how she is falling in love with the ‘penis man.’
There is some stupid bit with Brett’s lamp, Izzy and Daniel. This episode is dragging.
Amanda and Josh are in love.
The twins and Nick share their concerns about Josh.
Rose ceremony…..Jesus take the wheel…..
Carly to Evan
Ashley to Wells
Izzy to Brett
Caila to Jared
Lace to Grant
Amanda to Josh
Emily and Haley decide to leave because they haven’t found love. This also means Ryan, Carl and Daniel are forced to leave as well.
Before the twins leave, they talk to Amanda about Josh and warn her about what they know and have been told about him and his temper and intentions. She is left in tears and Josh tries to talk with her about what is wrong. She tells him what they said and he is pissed. He goes off on everyone and it is actually quite disturbing to see, especially when he goes after Nick.
Jami from Ben’s season comes on and meets Wells. They talk a bit and decide to go on a date using her date card. Everyone worries about Ashley’s reaction, but she says she is fine. She then gets jealous when she sees Jared and Caila together and gets upset about Wells and Jami. She decides to put on makeup.
Jami and Wells bond over their love of Batman….and kiss.
Ashley and Caila have a long talk and Caila seems to want to leave.
To be continued….