Bachelor In Paradise
Tuesday March 28, 2017

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Hello to Bachelor In Paradise on ABC. It is a new season, new cast and the return of….JORGE!!! Oh, and a certain bad boy named Chad. I am more excited about Jorge though. Can we just have him as out next Bachelor?

Another year where I can never listen to Almost Paradise without going crazy. The twins apparently have no identity. WTF with these intros? Nice Canadian Speedo Daniel! At least Lace saved her drink and JORGE!!!! 


Are the twins auditioning for a Doublemint commercial or the Sweet Valley High reboot? They are the same, but different! This is important to know.

Nick’s title is runner-up. Is this an occupation now? How does he describe it on job interviews? Hi, I always come in second place, please hire me?

Jubilee is trying to find a happy medium between super smily and resting bitch face. 

Evan rehashes the Chad drama. Did he seriously save the shirt Chad ripped? Also, did anyone see the Go Fund Me to get him a new shirt? 

Of course, this means Chad is back and it is more rehashing.We also meet his dog and see him pack enough protein powder to last a lifetime. 

Lace is trying to change herself for the better and still loves her wine. So she is Penny from Big Bang Theory on steroids?

Daniel is still Canadian and compares himself to herpes. 

Amanda the single mom wants to find love. 

Time for people to arrive! Amanda, Nick and Jubilee arrive first, followed by Evan. (Jubilee calls him the Penis Guy) 

Who the hell is Vinny? 

Aw, Carly! Her heartbreak made me so sad last season.

Grant the firefighter is on too! 

Daniel arrives and reminds us he is Canadian….why do we have to hide our belly buttons? He is not impressed with the girls and did he woof? Honey, we might know why you’re single. Once he compares the girls to fruit, I am done with him. 

Sarah is back to find love. 

The twins arrive and Daniel is finally impressed.

Who the hell is Izzy?

Daniel and Izzy win for most awkward conversation ever about her age and Evan.

Lace already has people wondering if she is crazy.

Are they playing music from the Love Boat? I am seriously losing it….must….have….coffee……or a drink.

JARED!!!!! This is who Jubilee has been waiting to meet.  She wants to wait to make a move,but Sarah beats her to it. 

Chad arrives last and tries to justify his behavior and says he will continue to do him.

I love how they make it seem like some monster is coming out or something with animals running away.

Everyone either finds him intriguing or crazy. Lace thinks they have a connection. 

Daniel and Chad continue their bromance.

This week, the guys give out roses and the girls who don’t get roses will be sent home. The twins are a ‘team’ which isn’t really fair, but what the hell ever.

Why is Evan going through Chad’s things? And we wonder why Chad gets pissed? I would not be happy if I knew someone was going through my things. 

Jorge does shots with everyone as they mingle. 

Emily says Jubilee is her best friend, but she also wants Jared. However, Jubilee gets the date card and asks him out.

Lace hangs with Grant and then makes out with Chad. They keep making out, fighting and acting crazy. Everyone is watching and wondering what is going on. 

Izzy wants things to progress with Vinny. I still have no clue who either of them are, so more power to them! He wants to go slow, but they make out in the water. 

Jared and Jubilee have a Lord Of The Rings conversation and I am geeking the hell out because I am a huge nerd. I even named my cat Aragorn after the character in that very movie.

A clown arrives and Jubilee freaks out. I can’t say I blame her. 

Lace and Chad remind me of the Eminiem and Rhianna song come to life and it is quite disturbing. Carly calls it the shortest relationship in history. 

Daniel and Chad get into a fight and somehow the Mussolini/Hitler thing comes up again. Now people think Daniel is smart. 

Chad keeps drinking and getting into fights with everyone to the point where Sarah wants to leave.

Now Evan and Chad are fighting. Everyone wants him to leave.

Chad passes out on the beach, but ends up naked in bed.

Everyone wonders what happened and why he was acting bizarre. I think he is having a breakdown and if so, it is nothing to make light of….and if it is him just being a jerk….there is no excuse. Either way, exploring this on TV is not ok.

Chris Harrison asks them what happened in the morning and it becomes a Chad intervention. Chris actually asks him to leave. Needless to say, it doesn’t go over well. 

Stay tuned!!!! 

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