Bachelor In Paradise
Tuesday March 28, 2017

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Hello, and welcome to the season finale of Bachelor In Paradise on ABC. Tonight, our remaining couples must come to some major decisions about their relationships and what the future holds.What will happen? We are about to find out!

We open with AshLee all starry-eyed over Graham and Lacy wondering if things will change between her and Marcus.

Chris Harrison comes by to tell them that their relationships will be put to the test. Will their relationships be able to survive in real life? Those who don’t think it will work out will have to go home.  He wishes them all the best and is anxious to see who will still be in paradise. 

The tension is now through the roof. Cody is particularly scared about his relationship with Michelle, who is terrified about introducing him to her daughter. 

AshLee thinks it will work out with Graham and wants to see where things go off the island. She goes on and on and to tell you the truth, I tune out. Hearing her drone on about Graham is like listening to the adults talk in the old Charlie Brown cartoons.

Michelle isn’t liking some of the things she is saying, so she goes to talk to Graham. She tells him she doesn’t think AshLee is genuine and is worried about how things will turn out. 

Graham takes this into consideration and goes to talk to AshLee. He says he doesn’t think things are going to work out, which makes her cry….and then get majorly pissed off. He is actually being pretty nice about it and hugs her before she leaves. 

Michelle goes to comfort Graham while AshLee cries and leaves. Lacy says AshLee is delusional.

Graham also leaves the island.

Tasos and Christy also agree their relationship isn’t working out and leave, as do Jackie and Zach.

Why does it seem like Cody is narrating this whole episode?

{sidebar id=8}Michelle is confused and calls her daughter for advice. It is cute, and she actually gives some decent advice. She says as long as he is nice and makes her happy she should be able to make the right decision. 

Chris Harrison has another pep talk with the remaining couples. Cody is all goggly eyed over Michelle. As an aside, his poor face is all sunburned. 

They must decide where the relationship is going, so they have a chance to go on Fantasy Suite dates to help them make a decision…..because, you know, that would really work in real life. I can just see myself going up to my crush, telling him that I want to see where things are going, so would he like to forgo his night alone for a Fantasy Suite date with the played out rose petals and candles? We have one night to decide if we want to be together, so this is it! I think he would tell me I was crazy and never speak to me again. 

Everyone heads to the Fantasy Suites….which just look lame. Seriously, people, BE ORIGINAL! 

Lacy says Marcus completes her….because we this is now Jerry Maguire. For some reason I found that line to be more creepy than romantic. 

Michelle and Cody talk about her fears, but he is willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. They are actually very cute and realistic, which is rare on a show like this.

Lacy says she feels great after talking and loving on Marcus in the Fantasy Suite. Everyone goes back to ‘paradise’ to share their experiences. Again, would this actually HAPPEN in real life? I see maybe telling my VERY CLOSE girlfriends….but a bunch of people I barely know and other couples so we can compare noteS? Um, NO! 

Michelle says she now has a boyfriend! Cody is thrilled and looks so crazy in love.

Sarah looks pissed off. Trouble in paradise? She says that Robert just wanted to sleep—and kept his jeans on the whole time. He didn’t even want to be physical. She feels rejected, which I totally get, but maybe he is a gentleman that doesn’t want to jump into bed and have sex right away! There is NOTHING wrong with that! 

She says they are in dating limbo….even though they have only been together for a couple of weeks. All they did in the Fantasy Suite was French kiss. It was enough for her—he wouldn’t even let her unbuckle his pants! Girl, you’re acting desperate. He is probably a gentleman and didn’t want to rush things. AGAIN, there is NOTHING wrong with that. There are lots of girls who want a gentleman. 

Robert and Sarah talk about her feelings. He thinks they had an amazing thing going, but she still feels unloved. They decide to break up. 

Michelle and Lacy hug Sarah and let her vent. 

Robert says he was scared and not ready to use the L word and maybe it wasn’t enough. AGAIN, HE IS DOING THE RIGHT THING!  

Chris Harrison once again talks to the remaining couples. Jason and Molly, Desiree and Chris and Sean and Catherine meet with them for another pep talk. Oh, brother. I fast forward through it because I don’t care. 

Cody gives Michelle a rose. She accepts.  She gives him a rose. He accepts. We get their  ‘I love you’ speeches.  

Marcus takes Lacy aside and declares his love for her again. If I had a dollar for every time this happened, I would be a rich woman right now. He then gets down on one knee and proposes. Where the hell did the ring come from? Do we really think Neil Lane showed up with a ring just for him to propose? Did Clare’s raccoon friend sell it to him? The world may never know.

Everyone cheers and congratulates them. They exchange roses. He makes her feel like paradise. 

Thanks for tuning in this season. Join us next time and be sure to keep checking back for more recaps on TVGrapevine. 

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